Stuck Inside of Wall St

James Taranto suggests that some of our fading rock stars join together and hold a benefit concert for Wall Street. This is definitely one of his better ideas. He asks his readers for recommendations regarding what songs should be played, or other ideas about how to organize it. In spite of past disagreements, I thought I would pitch in and do my part. What I would like to see at a benefit concert for Wall Street is Bob Dylan doing an reprise of an old classic. Something like this...

Stuck Inside of Wall Street
With the Bailout Blues Again

Oh, the policeman draws circles
On the sidewalk with his chalk
I’d ask him when my turn was
But I know that he don’t talk
And Congress treats me kindly
They furnished me with a cape
But deep inside my heart
I know I can’t escape.
O-bama, can this really be the end
To be stuck inside of Wall Street
With the bailout blues again.

Well, Greenspan, he’s in the Senate
With his pointed shoes and his bells,
Speaking to some French guy
Who says he knows us well.
And I know they’ll vote us money
If they think we’re gonna fail
But the money comes with strings
That’ll drag us all to hell.
O-bama, can this really be the end
To be stuck inside of Wall Street
With the bailout blues again.

Ayn Rand tried to tell me
To stay away from the gravy train
She said that all those politicians
Just wanna put you into chains.
An’ I said, “Oh, I didn’t know that,
But then again there’s only one I’ve met
An’ he just stole my bonus
An’ banned my cigarettes.”
O-bama, can this really be the end
To be stuck inside of Wall Street
With the bailout blues again.

The market died last week
And now it’s buried in the rocks,
But everybody still talks about
How badly they were shocked.
But me, I expected it to happen,
I knew they’d lost control
When they pumped it full of fiat money
And then shot it full of holes.
O-bama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Wall Street
With the bailout blues again.

Now the president came down here
Showing everyone his gun,
And handing out free money
Y’know the bailout had begun
And me I had a contract
But I’d best not count on that
Cause the voters swallow elephants
But they choke upon a gnat.
O-bama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Wall Street
With the bailout blues again.

Now the preachers were so offended
When Ayn said, “Throw 'way that cross,
Wherever there is sacrifice,
There’s someone playing boss.”
And they cursed her when she proved it to them.
Then she said, “Not even you can hide.
You see, you’re just like Marx.
I hope you’re satisfied.”
O-bama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Wall Street
With the bailout blues again.

Now Geithner gave us two cures,
And begged us to jump right in.
The one was toxic assets
The other was a stimulus plan
We’d be a fool to take them
But who said we get to chose?
This is the kind of offer,
You know you can’t refuse.
O-bama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Wall Street
With the bailout blues again.

When Barney says come see him,
In the Senate chamber room
We’d better travel Greyhound
Or our bailout money’s doomed
An’ I say, “Aw come on now,
We know he never travels coach.”
An’ he says, “Do what I say, boy,
If you don’t want to go broke.”
O-bama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Wall Street
With the bailout blues again.

Now the bodies lay on Wall St.
Where the businessmen take their dive.
They all fall there so perfectly.
There’ll be video at five.
An’ here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going through all these things twice.
O-bama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Wall Street
With the bailout blues again.

(And for an encore, he could dedicate this one to Hillary over in Foggy Bottom.)